My first time during the Revolution Tour at the Medicine Wheel, in the Bighorn Mountains of Wyoming, I was only able to make it to the parking area. That day I felt prepared, ready and willing to embrace whatever my spiritual lesson would be but due to snow, time restraints and improper gear I sat in the parking lot with my heart disappointed. I could feel the energy drawing me and I decided I would hop out of the car and offer my prayers to the four directions. I felt the embrace and affirmation of the Spirit and left feeling grateful that I got to visit. I just set it aside that it wasn’t meant to be. Besides I was heading to the Tetons and then onto several other places that I was sure I would find my fit for this next step in my life but with each new place something wasn’t right.
After traveling for 5 months without a clue as to where or what I was going to do, I was heartbroken. I had found places I loved, but none of them showed me any economic promise for creating my healing sanctuary. I needed to be close enough to a city that wasn’t too big to limit people’s willingness and ease to commute frequently to the sanctuary. It shouldn’t be hard with the amount of energy, effort, intentions, prayers, visions, etc. I put into this trip. I had talked about for more than 2 years and finally launched. I kept wondering if I had missed something. Each place that I loved just seemed to kick us out, it didn’t show itself with the answers I needed. I finally cried mercy after 45 days in Oregon and nothing working. My money to travel was gone, I had enough to just pay my bills and nothing for food or gas. What was I going to do?
I decided I would go back to Wyoming. I felt like my soul sister’s place would be the place I could find some rest to at least finish the book and figure out my next step. Once I set that intention, all the doors burst wide open. I was even beginning to see signs that it could work for the long term. There was education and a need to support my work. So we left with the intention to get employment once we arrived, finish the book and be open to what presented itself. My heart was happy that I was going to get another opportunity to visit the Medicine Wheel and this time actually get to walk the wheel.
The weeks leading up to our visit to the Medicine wheel, I was beginning to accept the idea that my while my intentions for the Revolution Tour were true, Spirit was leading me to a higher truth. The vision I held for the Revolution Tour was in the future but this trip may be more of a quest for my own personal work as a healer. I was beginning to be flexible with my intentions and allowing greater insight to come into focus. At the beginning of the Revolution Tour, I thought I was in the right place spiritually, mentally and emotionally to complete the book and launch my life working full time as a healer but was learning with each venture that I was gathering wisdom for my book, my clients and myself that I would not have possessed without this trip. The book had become so much more with the stones of wisdom I had collected on my journey. I had become so much more. I even heard my own words talking back to me from my book, “I had to learn to let go of how I thought things should look and see what was in front of me”. While I wasn’t completely sure what this new vision was teaching me, I was coming to terms with the idea of creating a home base that I knew would support my vision and have retreats at these others places I loved.
In addition to my blurry vision for the purpose of the Revolution Tour, I had also been editing my book about the worst period of my childhood. I was between the ages of 3-6, and it was the most painful time I had endured. The loss of innocence, violation and wound was deep. As I contemplated the amount of material that would be included in the book, I was experiencing a deeper level of release from all the emotional wounds that had been trapped in my body. It had been a very full week and I needed nature!
With my love affair and connection to moon, I knew when I wanted to go the Medicine Wheel when she was shining in all her fullness. The day we planned to go was filled with moods and moments that left us delayed in our departure. As we packed to go, I gathered up some of my healing stones to carry with me to the wheel. After the week I had; I was ready and willing but exhausted. We finally left around 3:20 pm and I was determined to make the most of our time. As we made our journey, I commented to Emily that if we wanted to we could stay to watch the moon come up. We stopped about 20 minutes away from the wheel to just take in the view. I realized I was surrounded by sage. For those who aren’t familiar, sage smudging helps to energetically and spiritually clear a space. I asked Spirit and the sage if they were willing and got a firm “yes”, so I began to pick sage to carry with my stones up to the Medicine Wheel. I could see the vision clearly of using the sage for my healing practice and what a gift it would be.
We climbed back in the car and soon found ourselves at the parking lot of the Medicine Wheel. It sits at about 10,000 ft. elevation and I was a little nervous about the 1.5 mile hike to the top. I saw two cars pull up to the gate, converse with the Ranger and drive up the path. Both Emily and I were confused and wondered if we should go ask if we had to walk, but we decided that we saw more people walking than driving plus I wanted to try. We gathered up our gear and headed toward the entrance. The Ranger came out and greeted us, she told us to use caution on the hike with the high elevation, ensure we had enough time for the return trip, told us that Lucy wouldn’t be allowed to walk the wheel but the Ranger would be glad to hold her if we wanted to walk together. She told us not to leave any trinkets as that was reserved for the Native people
The view was gorgeous and I was so relieved the elevation gain on the hike was minimal. My left leg wasn’t at full capacity but I felt strong enough to make it. Two thirds of the way up the trail we were met by a Ranger coming down from the wheel. She told us that ceremony was taking place at the wheel and we wouldn’t be able to walk it. She said we could go as far as the plaque and could not take any pictures. My heart sank, this was my second time trying to get to the wheel! This was beginning to feel like the whole trip, what was I missing? Why was I being pushed away from things? We decided to go ahead and finish the hike, it would be nice to see a ceremony taking place and just be closer to the wheel this time. About a 100 yards later, I tried to soothe my disappointment with a light hearted comment that perhaps they would invite me to join them in ceremony.
It wasn’t long and we were standing on the path toward the plaque. There was another couple sitting on a stone watching the ceremony. As we neared the plaque, the energy I felt was overwhelming. Tears started to stream down my face. It was all I could do to keep my crying silent. At first I was mesmerized by the ceremony and when the couple stood up to leave I realized I was staring. As a sign of respect, I moved over to the rock they were sitting on with my eyes focused on the landscape. Emily leaned over and said, maybe we can just wait until they are done. I agreed. It was then I looked over and saw the group around the circle was coming down the path toward us and the two Shamans remained in the wheel.
The first lady down the path said to me, “thank you for holding space for us and allowing us to complete ceremony”. I was shocked, of course I would hold space. In my mind, I was just a visitor without any ancestral right to be in the wheel but could simply walk it and enjoy the beauty of the connection in spirit. The first Shaman left the wheel and came directly up to us as well. His face was luminous and I knew then what people meant when they said I was filled with light, so was he. He told me he was drawn, the energy was powerful and kept saying it feels right. He regarding Lucy with such kindness and when she came and stood in front of me, he acknowledge what a good guardian she was. I shared a little of our story and how I wanted to be here. I told him about the tumors and how Lucy has taken to watching over me. He told me that this was such a powerful time and this was day 2 of ceremony for them. We talked some more and he said you’ll have to meet April, the other Shaman leading the ceremony. I was thrilled to be in conversation with these people and getting the chance to share their journey.
I saw April coming down the trail and she looked like an Angel. Her eyes were the clearest blue I had ever seen, she came right up to me without any introduction. She was so determined that I thought the other Shaman must have psychically told her that I needed to meet her. I reached out my hand to her to introduce myself. I told her why I was there and she then said to me, would you like to walk the wheel with me. I was so honored, I dropped my pack right there on the spot and we headed up the path together.
She said, can I hold your hand? As we embraced it was so powerful. It was as if I had known her all my life. The first thing she spoke to me about was the tumors, then she commented on what powerful energy I have. She said I am a light worker and have been receiving so much information my entire life. She talked about those who had hurt me, how challenging my life had been, and the people who were not helping me. At every turn she kept talking about life as if it was an open book laid before her. I hadn’t shared any details with her other than I was writing and my tumors. There was nothing she said that wasn’t true. At each direction, healing was performed, intention and invitation. When my words couldn’t speak, she held space and guidance. Each direction a blessing was spoken in languages that I didn’t understand but could feel. As we left the North, she said to me: “I have missed you so much, it’s funny how we chose this place to meet”. I agreed, I told her how honored and humbled I was to be here with her. She looked at me, “I am honored and humbled to be here with you!” I knew our spirits were connected, several times around the wheel we embraced, I told her I had missed her too. She spoke of how we don’t get to be the powerful healers we are without the pain. She told me the tumors had started during my loss of innocence between the ages of 3-5, they were store houses for all the energy I didn’t know what to do with. She told me some things had to die in order to make room for what is. As we entered the last direction, she asked me to hold her sweet grass braid and face the South. She then moved behind me and more blessing were offered. She then touched my back to remove the tumors. As we walked down the path hand in hand, I was home. I knew why everything had kicked me out, it was kicking me toward this moment.
As we rejoined the group, the other Shaman kept commenting how everything was so right, he couldn’t stop talking about the very powerful energy. While April and I had walked the wheel, he gifted Emily flags for us to tie at the four directions. He reassured us and we were welcome to leave the offerings. April and I exchanged information and we parted ways. As Emily and I headed up the path to set our intentions and tie the flags, a person arrived at the plaque. She paused and waited. As we descended the path, she asked us if the ceremony was over, and my heart overflowed.
The Divine coordination to bring this moment together is beyond my mind’s understanding and yet speaks perfectly to my heart. All my delays, heartaches, and frustrations were orchestrated to get me to where I needed to be at the right moment. The Revolution Tour wasn’t what I thought it would be, it was more. Just like my pouch of stones and sage I had gathered, I had been gathering the things I needed for my next step. It wasn’t a place to call to home, it was being home. No matter where I go on this plane or the next, my spirit is at peace. I had come full circle, Welcome Home Melissa!
We talk to so frequently about going with the flow and trusting things as they are or meant to be, believe me I fully know how difficult this can be. We pray, ask, seek and then follow only to be met with delays, roadblocks and at times confusion. What overwhelmed me about this situation is the intricate details that were all woven together to create this moment in my life. April was from California, the other Shaman was from North Carolina-they intentionally were there at the precise time of my arrival. Every delay from being snowed out, to day o this happened was perfectly and precisely timed for me to get there when I did. I know how hard it is sometimes to trust the Divine’s coordination, but I believe to the depth of my soul that when our heart is open; when we seek with all that we are, the Divine will meet us in the most wonderful ways.
When we find our “place” we know it! My spirit has never felt so much peace, belonging and warmth than that day. It truly was the feeling of being seen. There was no hierarchy or down talking, they saw me for who I was and I saw them. My gifts were affirmed and blessed. There was no envy or competition, only love and support. That is your people: those who elevate you to become all you were meant to be.
Lastly, follow your heart. Whatever makes your heart feel alive and expansive is leading you to your higher calling.